Somewhere Between Awkward and Awesome
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: "Just…do you think that I would still be able to function if I got all my teeth removed?" "Well, you'd sure be great at giving blow-" "Iggy!" "What?" - Post-Nevermore one-shot.


Somewhere Between Awkward and Awesome

"Sit, Gasman."

"Or stand." Iggy shrugged. "We're really impartial to that aspect of this."

Fang elbowed the other teen next to him. "Iggy, shut up."

"Oh, Fang, like you're so serious about this," Iggy complained, rubbing his arm. "You're only doing this because Max told you to."

"And you're only doing it because I told you to."

"Point taken."

Gasman just looked from Iggy to Fang before slowly taking a seat in front of them on the ground. They were on the cliff that Max and Fang usually used to 'talk' on. Which by talk, they all totally knew they were screwing or making out. One or the other.

"What did you guys want?" the twelve-year-old asked, frowning slightly. "Because I was in the middle of practicing for my soccer-"

"We want to talk to you about, you know, guy stuff," Iggy said slowly as he too took a seat. Fang only stood there, clad in his classic black look, arms all crossed and looking less than amused. Then again, he always looked like that, so really, the Gasman saw nothing as being too far off.

"Okay," Gasman said, still looking at the two older guys. "What kind of-"

"Sex," Fang said bluntly.

"Fang-"

"What?" He made a face at Iggy. "God. Why beat around the bush? I've got shit to do, alright?"

"Ew, Max wants to have sex with me?"

"What?" Iggy and Fang both turned their attention back to the Gasman.

"That's what you said," the pre-teen told them accusatorily. "You said Max was making you do this and that she was making you talk about sex, so-"

"You have poor reasoning skills," Fang told him with a flat tone. "No, Max doesn't want to have sex with you. God."

"Fang, knock it off." Iggy took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. "It's just…you've been acting kind of funny recently, Gazzy."

"Funny?"

"Dude, we're not stupid," Fang told him. "Number one, making Max still wash your stuff is kind of childish."

"What does that have to do with-"

"Stuff stains, bro," Iggy told him gently. "But anyways, Max just thought that, you know, being brothers and all that-"

"Look, can you just jerk off in the ocean like the rest of us instead of your hut or whatever? When your bathing alone or something? It would save us a lot of time and trouble."

"Where exactly do you have to be, Fang, that you're acting like such a prick?" Iggy asked him. "Huh? We're trying to be helpful. Or at least I am. If you don't want to be here-"

"Do you have any questions, Gazzy?" Fang asked, clearly putout by the whole thing. He wasn't one for family togetherness anyways. Why was it his job to _talk_ to the Gasman? No one _talked_ to him. He learned shit on his own! They were on an island full of other guys. Hell, Fang would even let Dylan take over this responsibility if he wanted it. And it went without saying that Fang was very possessive over his jobs when it came down to him or Dylan doing them. "Or anything?"

"Well…just one."

"What is it?" Iggy asked, more intrigued than anything. He had never had a task such as this before and was interested to see where it would go.

"Just…do you think that I would still be able to function if I got all my teeth removed?"

"Well," Iggy said slowly after thinking for a moment. "You'd sure be great at giving blow-"

"Iggy!"

"What?"

Gasman just stared up at Fang. "Would I?"

"I don't…" Fang was feeling kind of helpless at the moment. He had one idiot that was supposed to be on his side and then he had the other one completely derailing the whole operation. How exactly did Max think this whole thing would pan out? "What does this have to do with masturbating?"

"Nothing," Gasman said, giving him a weird look. "You guys said guy stuff. I think this qualifies as guy stuff."

"In what way?" Iggy asked, bemused.

"In everyway!"

Fang growled, slightly annoyed now. Then he remembered that at any moment, Iggy or the Gasman could go rat on him to Max that he was being uncooperative and that just would not do.

"Why would your teeth get knocked out, buddy?" Iggy asked him all soft and nice and stuff. Barf. Fang did not need to there for all the nice bull. He was there to get his job done, that's it.

"You guys can talk about that later, alright?" Fang stared down at the younger boy. "Let's finish this…sex talk, okay?"

"Well…" Gasman picked at the ground then. "Uh…do you and Max have…sex…er…"

"Yes," Fang said, nodding his head slowly. "Very frequently."

"Not that frequently," Iggy told Gasman in a slight whispered.

"Yes, very frequently," Fang told him, frowning. "All the time."

"Dude, who are you fooling?" Iggy looked up, but not at Fang. It was enough to let Fang know though that he meant to look at him. "Max tells her sister everything. And Ella tells me everything. Your sex life is no secret to me, bro."

"You-"

"Oh, and by the way, that thing you do where you, like, open kiss her neck and, like, lick it? Not turn on. At all. In fact, her and Ella laugh about how dumb of a thing that is to do."

Now not only annoyed, but also slightly embarrassed, Fang let out a short huff of breath before turning and walking off. How dare Max freaking talk about him behind his back! He didn't tell anyone about how Max did that weird panting thing where she sounded like a dog that had been deprived of water. And you know why he didn't? Because it was the right thing to do! Freaking hell.

Opening his wings, Fang headed over to the edge of the cliff, planning on leaving and going to yell at Max. They hadn't had a good fight in a few weeks and this was definitely their next big one.

"So why were you so focused on your teeth before, Gazzy?" Fang heard Iggy ask the boy as he was leaving. "Huh?"

"Well," Gazzy said slowly, no doubt thrown off by Fang's departure. "There's this guy."

"Uh-huh."

"And I kinda…"

"What?"

"I might have accidentally and totally not on purpose slammed into him really hard during a soccer game and now he wants to, like, beat me up!"

"Oh."

"Yeah and I-"

"Wait." Fang turned back around then, though he left his wings out. "You're afraid of someone?"

The Gasman turned to look at him then, nodding. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because," he said slowly as he turned to look up at the older teen. "He's all bigger and tougher and stronger-"

"Gasman, you're one of the Flock. The freaking Flock!" Fang took another step towards him, almost glaring down at him. "You're going to man the fuck up and go beat the living shit out of that kid."

"But, Fang," Gasman whined. "This isn't some normal guy. All the kids on the island are like us. They were-"

"I don't care. You're not going to pansy out, are you?"

"Fang." Iggy jumped up then, shaking his head. "You're not-"

"You shut up. Talking about me behind my back. The hell are we, Iggy? Chicks now? I thought we were cool. I thought we were boys."

"We are. I just-"

"So shut the fuck up and let me deal with this." Fang turned his focus back on the younger boy. "Hey, look, Gasman. Have you ever seen me lose a fight?"

"Y-"

"Walk away from a fight. I mean walk away from a fight. Have you ever seen me walk away from a fight?"

"No," he said, shaking his head.

"Exactly. Eve n when I knew I was going to get my ass kicked, I manned up and went on through with the fight. I got hurt. I didn't care. I did what I had to, to prove who I was. I'm Fang."

"O-Okay, but-"

"And you can choose, right now, if you want to be like me," Fang said before nodding at the blind teen, "or Iggy."

"Well," Gasman said slowly. "Uh…how much sex do you have, Iggy?"

"Way more than Fang."

"Shut up, Iggy," Fang growled, glaring heavily at him. "I have plenty of sex. Enough sex for my fill. Alright? Huh? Alright?"

"Calm down, Fang. Seriously. Why are you so uptight today anyways?"

He only shook his head before looking down at the Gasman once more. "You're going to beat the crap out of this guy, Gazzy. Just believe that and you'll be fine. Alright?"

Gazzy glanced at Iggy before nodding. "Alright. Okay. Yeah. Yeah! I am."

"Great." Fang clapped him on the shoulder before turning and punching Iggy in the shoulder, causing the blind boy to let out a sharp intake of breath. "Good talk, guys."

* * *

"Hey, Fang," Max greeted as her boyfriend came walking into the clearing. She was sitting there in a semi-circle with Nudge and Ella. Great. "How was-"

"Don't you freaking dare, Max."

"Excuse me?"

Ella giggled into her palm. "So it was a bad little bonding talk today?"

"You shut the fuck up too."

"Hey!"

"What is wrong with you?" Max stood up then, giving him a hard look. "We do not curse. And if you're going to do it, you definitely don't do it to my sister!"

"Oh, but we tell your sister about every personal thing we do?"

"Wh-"

"If you didn't like the kissing thing, Max," he hissed as he took another step towards her, "all you had to do was freaking say so."

Nudge widened her eyes before looking around. "Well. Uh…I'm gonna go so-"

"Yeah," Fang said, not looking at her. "Go. Both of you. Now."

"Don't order-"

"Go, Ella," Max told her with a sigh as she took a step away from him, putting a hand to her forehead. "We'll talk later, Nudge."

"Dang right we will," Ella mumbled to Nudge as they walked away. Not before she shot Fang a glare though. Not that he cared. The little-

"What exactly is your problem?" Max asked once she was certain they were alone.

"Don't you take a tone with me when you're the one-"

"Iggy," Max said then, clapping her hands together then as if she had figured out quantum physics or coldfusion. Yeah right. "Iggy told you that I-"

"You talk about me to other people?"

"Not other people, Fang," she told him with a shake of her head. "Just Ella. That's it. I-"

"Ella is another person, Max!"

"Stop yelling." Max looked around the clearing, but of course it was empty. It was just them. "God. Why did Iggy-"

"We have lots of great, awesome sex. I am stellar at it."

That got her to blink. "Okay."

"So there. Just because you suck at-"

"I do not suck at-"

"You kind of do. I could bring any woman to freaking orgasm. You? You'd be lucky if any other guy even wanted you."

Max hit him then, in the chest. Rather hard. "You're, like, the dumbest person ever! I told you and Iggy to make sure that Gasman understood what was…going on with him. I thought you to knuckleheads could at least handle that."

"Well, apparently not!"

"Apparently!"

He let out a huff then, breaking their staring match by looking off. Then, after a moment, he asked, "Why didn't you just fucking tell me, Max?"

"I don't know. And Ella tells me things about Iggy too," she told him quickly. "I mean, God, Fang, that's what you do."

"It is freaking not."

"Oh, bull." It was her turn to cross her arms then. "Come off it, Fang. Like you and Iggy don't-"

"Yes, Max, because the one thing in the world I want to hear about is Ella's body. You caught me." He shook his head at her. "Seriously?"

"What's wrong with Ella?"

"What's not wrong with Ella?"

He almost got another hit for that, but he easily caught her fist in his palm. "Knock it off with the hitting stuff, alright?"

Max jerked away from him about the same time he tossed her fist from his. "You can't just come over here, yelling at me, Fang. So I don't like every little thing about you. Is that such a crime? God, I know that you don't like everything about me either."

"Damn right I don't."

He got a long look for that. Then, slowly, Max uncrossed her arms and took another step towards him. Reaching out, she poked his chest.

"How mad are you at me?"

"Extremely."

"Really now?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So if I asked you right now if you wanted to, I dunno, go hangout _alone_ somewhere, you would-"

"Accept. Definitely accept," he said without thinking about it. Duh. He might be mad, but he was far from stupid.

Max shoved him then before walking around him, heading back towards the path that would lead them to the beach. "You're not mad. You're embarrassed. And if you ever curse at my sister again-"

"You're the one that did wrong."

"Debatable."

"Not really."

Fang was totally ready to respond to that when suddenly someone else came running into the clearing. It was Angel, who was almost out of breath. Both Max and Fang immediately forgot their own problems as she rushed over to them.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you alright?"

Angel shook her head at them before saying, "The Gasman got into a fight with this really bigger boy and he, like, got really hurt and-"

"What?" Max looked to Fang before back at Angel. "With who?"

Fang resisted his human desire to make a face at the realization of his mistake before quickly opening his wings.

"I, uh, have to go," he said then, rubbing the back of his neck. Max's eyes immediately fell back to him.

"What did you do, Fang?"

"I didn't-"

"What did you-"

"Poop," Fang said suddenly, walking backwards before turning and falling into a full on run. He quickly took to the air. "I have to poop. See you, Max."

"Fang!"

His luck held as Max's worry over the Gasman caused her to head to him instead of chasing after Fang. It was just as well that Max was angry with him, seeing as he still was with her. They would just avoid each other for the day and then…and then… Well, he'd just go from there. There really were no options in it, after all. An angry Max was not one you dealt with.

Ever.

* * *

**Feeling like updating something else tonight. How are you guys feeling about The Daddy Test? **


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